For a few weeks before departure, we have been experimenting with yet another regime (diet). It advances the idea that five normal eating days and two of semi-fasting will confer a degree of health and happiness. The fast days limit intake to 500-600 calories, which in the abstract seems like plenty, that is until about three in the afternoon. Anyway, if the Fast Diet works in America, why not in France too?
Well… I have obviously overlooked essential cultural differences. It is not at all unusual to have a glass of wine in the morning here, say around 9 a.m. (possible time exaggeration). Coffee is enjoyed more often, but sometimes one needs something to freshen the breathe mid-morning since the French think that gum chewing is pathetic and bovine. Having started the day so well, another visit to at the café around ten-thirty calls for another glass, perhaps two. All of this primes the system. At the moment my stomach is already digesting the lunch I have not yet ordered or eaten… and must not on this fast day. I think I see a problem with bringing this diet on vacation.
The program calls for two days of minimal eating per week. This means only six hundred calories for a guy. That’s approximately four glasses of wine. It leaves precious little room for a spear of asparagus, a crouton of bread, or un petit morceau de fromage. The highlight of the day will be a 300-calorie ‘pig out’ at dinnertime. When that time arrives, I will once again be surprised by how satisfying it actually is. All you doctors out there, please explain how this can possibly work… because it does. I am a dozen pounds lighter than I was three months ago.
Okay, packing is done, bills are paid, and the French air traffic control strike has been cancelled. Whoo-hoo!
